About Me

I'm a 36 year old happily married SAHM, college student. I have 3 beautiful little terrors who drive me insane by being so much like me. I am fighting the good fight against a rare auto immune disease called Mixed Connective Tissue Disease.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Another Week, Another Struggle


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I know it's been a week since I last wrote since then I have been in the emergency room. Last Friday I had been having pain that I was able to bear, come early Saturday morning (3 a.m) it had gotten intolerable and my DH rushed me to the ER. Come to find out I had a severe inner ear infection. Today is my last day of antibiotics but I'm not sure they are working. I am still having to use the numbing drops several times a day. 

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Some of the symptoms of an inner ear infection are the same symptoms of MCTD, so I was writing my complete and utter fatigue off on my MCTD. I was barely able to keep my eyes open. The headaches I wrote off until I realized that the last time I had headaches every day I had an ear infection (just last year). So I had planned on getting in to the Dr. to have it checked out but with the pain I could no longer wait. 

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Monday was the first day of Spring semester and today my books should be in. I'm ready and excited to have yet another semester done. I am taking 2 classes again this semester. I"m hoping next year to be able to take more than just the two classes I've been taking.  I love to learn so taking classes keeps my mind working and makes me feel good about myself.

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Later this week I will be posting my review of Rellik by Teresa Mummert and Southern Perfection by Casey Peeler. I also have a couple more books that I finished reading that I need to review. I love ♥ love ♥ love to read. I am just starting to review books though so my way of reviewing may not be as grand and flawless as other pages but hey what do I care. You will always get an honest review. And that is truly what it is about. 

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Well I am off to start my day. Ear drops, finish my OCDing of my books (yes I am still doing that but I am almost done). What can I say over 1300 books on just my laptop and updating metadata tags is a hard thing to do. Can't wait to get my kindle so that I can get all my book on one device instead of being so spread out over 4.  And then tonight I have an online lecture for one of my classes. 

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Much love ♥ JAG

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

FITYMI

I'm sure you're wondering WTH does FITYMI stand for. It is my motto lol. Fake it till you make it. Since this is how I survive most days by getting up and pushing through a day even though I don't feel as though I should be moving. And today is a prime example of it. I am sitting out in the living room, being OCD over my ebook collection (ie updating the metadata lol) covered up under my favorite blankie and watching Ghost Asylum. 
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I know that I don't have the stamina or the muscle coordination to do much today so I'm taking it easy. Thankfully the house is pretty well clean. So I can just enjoy my relaxing day. I did what little I had to do like order my text books this upcoming semester. 
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I am a total dork when it comes to my books and I know this. Can't help and personally don't want to. When I get bored I always go OCD on my iTunes and my Calibre. Making sure everything is absolutely correct and trying to get a list of books that I may be missing in a series. 
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So Far I am feeling okay today, kinda wonky but okay none the less. I can't really describe the feeling. Sometimes when I've been battling a cold (which I have been for the past 2 months) as my body finally starts to get over it I fall into a period of where I fall asleep at anytime and at any place. I'm at that point. My exhaustion is just overwhelming. This also happens when I am flaring. 
Right now I'm not really in a flare. My swelling is at a normal level for me. Every one in my family is use to me falling asleep at weird times. While most people who get a cold have a great immune system to fight off a simple cold for someone like me, with MCTD or another auto immune disease, it's a bad thing for our body to start creating antibodies. Our antibodies attack our bodies instead of the illness. Which makes us even more ill. 
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I did read an amazing book a couple days ago. Rellik by Teresa Mummert. Maybe later tonight I'll come back and write my review on it. It is a new release and I could NOT put it down!!
But alas, it's almost time to go pick up the monkeys from school so I best cut off here. 

XOXOX
♥ JAG

Monday, January 5, 2015

A New Year.....

The holidays are finally over and a new year has begun. Thank heavens in some ways and in others it's just another day of another year. I never have really done the whole resolution "gimmick". I have always believed if I wanted something to change that I didn't need a certain day for me to start the change. I do, however, have some goals for myself for this year. I hope that I fulfill them but I also refuse to let not reaching them beat me down.

1. Work on my self-esteem.
Having MCTD really works on your self esteem. You go from being a very active person to someone who needs help getting out of bed most days. Even someone with the highest of esteems would have a major depression after dealing with MCTD for so long. 
I'm a mom. My main job is care giver and yet my 13 yr old DD is more of a care giver than I am. All 3 of my kids know how to help me stand since my leg muscles don't always work properly. I'm very lucky that all 3 of my kids are kind and caring people. They try to help me out as much as they can. 
My DH works a full day and then comes home to clean whatever I can't do and then he cooks and cleans up the kitchen. He never complains. Never treats me like I'm a burden. So I'm sure you can only imagine how that makes a girl feel.

2. Being more active..
With my muscles locking up on me more and more I need to start getting them more active. I stretch twice a day but it isn't working. So I'm wanting to try Yoga. So here is to hoping that it will do me some good.

3. Reading more. 
I love to read and am on a couple street teams for authors. I am thinking of doing some reviews for this blog. Who knows. (back to the self esteem issue lol). I'm making a goal of reading 200 books this year. So I'm excited to get that done. I'm already at 12. I think if I do reviews on here at least then I can keep up to count on how many I've read. lol. Not that anyone reads my blog and it will help but it will be counting system. 

4. Blog more.
I don't need people to read this, but I can't write in my journals anymore. My arthritis and muscles make it almost impossible to write the old fashioned way for more than a couple minutes. I'm hoping to use this blog as I intended it. To help me document my disease, and just get things out. This will also help me fight back on the depression that hits often. I won't be promising to blog every day, hopefully I will be blogging at least a couple days a week.
 I can't write on other social medias, not the way I truly feel. I know that everyone rants and raves on Facebook but I can't, not because I'm scared but more because I hate to sound like I'm whining or want pity. At least right here I am just me. No one knows who I am. 

Well that's all from me today. :) I need to get some sleep. The kids will be up soon They get to start back to school tomorrow. YAY!! And my college classes start soon too. So Night Dolls!!

XOXOX
<3   JAG