About Me

I'm a 36 year old happily married SAHM, college student. I have 3 beautiful little terrors who drive me insane by being so much like me. I am fighting the good fight against a rare auto immune disease called Mixed Connective Tissue Disease.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Another Week, Another Struggle


I know it's been a week since I last wrote since then I have been in the emergency room. Last Friday I had been having pain that I was able to bear, come early Saturday morning (3 a.m) it had gotten intolerable and my DH rushed me to the ER. Come to find out I had a severe inner ear infection. Today is my last day of antibiotics but I'm not sure they are working. I am still having to use the numbing drops several times a day. 


Some of the symptoms of an inner ear infection are the same symptoms of MCTD, so I was writing my complete and utter fatigue off on my MCTD. I was barely able to keep my eyes open. The headaches I wrote off until I realized that the last time I had headaches every day I had an ear infection (just last year). So I had planned on getting in to the Dr. to have it checked out but with the pain I could no longer wait. 


Monday was the first day of Spring semester and today my books should be in. I'm ready and excited to have yet another semester done. I am taking 2 classes again this semester. I"m hoping next year to be able to take more than just the two classes I've been taking.  I love to learn so taking classes keeps my mind working and makes me feel good about myself.


Later this week I will be posting my review of Rellik by Teresa Mummert and Southern Perfection by Casey Peeler. I also have a couple more books that I finished reading that I need to review. I love ♥ love ♥ love to read. I am just starting to review books though so my way of reviewing may not be as grand and flawless as other pages but hey what do I care. You will always get an honest review. And that is truly what it is about. 


Well I am off to start my day. Ear drops, finish my OCDing of my books (yes I am still doing that but I am almost done). What can I say over 1300 books on just my laptop and updating metadata tags is a hard thing to do. Can't wait to get my kindle so that I can get all my book on one device instead of being so spread out over 4.  And then tonight I have an online lecture for one of my classes. 


Much love ♥ JAG

Wednesday, January 7, 2015


I'm sure you're wondering WTH does FITYMI stand for. It is my motto lol. Fake it till you make it. Since this is how I survive most days by getting up and pushing through a day even though I don't feel as though I should be moving. And today is a prime example of it. I am sitting out in the living room, being OCD over my ebook collection (ie updating the metadata lol) covered up under my favorite blankie and watching Ghost Asylum. 
I know that I don't have the stamina or the muscle coordination to do much today so I'm taking it easy. Thankfully the house is pretty well clean. So I can just enjoy my relaxing day. I did what little I had to do like order my text books this upcoming semester. 
I am a total dork when it comes to my books and I know this. Can't help and personally don't want to. When I get bored I always go OCD on my iTunes and my Calibre. Making sure everything is absolutely correct and trying to get a list of books that I may be missing in a series. 
So Far I am feeling okay today, kinda wonky but okay none the less. I can't really describe the feeling. Sometimes when I've been battling a cold (which I have been for the past 2 months) as my body finally starts to get over it I fall into a period of where I fall asleep at anytime and at any place. I'm at that point. My exhaustion is just overwhelming. This also happens when I am flaring. 
Right now I'm not really in a flare. My swelling is at a normal level for me. Every one in my family is use to me falling asleep at weird times. While most people who get a cold have a great immune system to fight off a simple cold for someone like me, with MCTD or another auto immune disease, it's a bad thing for our body to start creating antibodies. Our antibodies attack our bodies instead of the illness. Which makes us even more ill. 
I did read an amazing book a couple days ago. Rellik by Teresa Mummert. Maybe later tonight I'll come back and write my review on it. It is a new release and I could NOT put it down!!
But alas, it's almost time to go pick up the monkeys from school so I best cut off here. 


Monday, January 5, 2015

A New Year.....

The holidays are finally over and a new year has begun. Thank heavens in some ways and in others it's just another day of another year. I never have really done the whole resolution "gimmick". I have always believed if I wanted something to change that I didn't need a certain day for me to start the change. I do, however, have some goals for myself for this year. I hope that I fulfill them but I also refuse to let not reaching them beat me down.

1. Work on my self-esteem.
Having MCTD really works on your self esteem. You go from being a very active person to someone who needs help getting out of bed most days. Even someone with the highest of esteems would have a major depression after dealing with MCTD for so long. 
I'm a mom. My main job is care giver and yet my 13 yr old DD is more of a care giver than I am. All 3 of my kids know how to help me stand since my leg muscles don't always work properly. I'm very lucky that all 3 of my kids are kind and caring people. They try to help me out as much as they can. 
My DH works a full day and then comes home to clean whatever I can't do and then he cooks and cleans up the kitchen. He never complains. Never treats me like I'm a burden. So I'm sure you can only imagine how that makes a girl feel.

2. Being more active..
With my muscles locking up on me more and more I need to start getting them more active. I stretch twice a day but it isn't working. So I'm wanting to try Yoga. So here is to hoping that it will do me some good.

3. Reading more. 
I love to read and am on a couple street teams for authors. I am thinking of doing some reviews for this blog. Who knows. (back to the self esteem issue lol). I'm making a goal of reading 200 books this year. So I'm excited to get that done. I'm already at 12. I think if I do reviews on here at least then I can keep up to count on how many I've read. lol. Not that anyone reads my blog and it will help but it will be counting system. 

4. Blog more.
I don't need people to read this, but I can't write in my journals anymore. My arthritis and muscles make it almost impossible to write the old fashioned way for more than a couple minutes. I'm hoping to use this blog as I intended it. To help me document my disease, and just get things out. This will also help me fight back on the depression that hits often. I won't be promising to blog every day, hopefully I will be blogging at least a couple days a week.
 I can't write on other social medias, not the way I truly feel. I know that everyone rants and raves on Facebook but I can't, not because I'm scared but more because I hate to sound like I'm whining or want pity. At least right here I am just me. No one knows who I am. 

Well that's all from me today. :) I need to get some sleep. The kids will be up soon They get to start back to school tomorrow. YAY!! And my college classes start soon too. So Night Dolls!!

<3   JAG